Fear And Its Presence: Let's Chat About MONEY
Let's talk about fear and how to deal with it. Fear is present in all of us. It doesn't matter how successful you are if you admit fear's presence in your life or not. We all experience its presence from time to time. Even the most corgis people you can think of experience fear. In fact, something cannot be “courageous” without the presence of someone's fear and taking action in spite of it.
Recently I had a session with someone who was yearning to travel the world before settling down. This was the thing that in her heart she KNEW would create happiness in her life. She was afraid she didn't have enough money to feel safe and fully relaxed during said travels. When I asked her “Why haven't you booked a plane ticket yet?” She said, “Because I don't have enough money”.
I want to break this down for you all as I feel this is such a common ailment of life. Before I do so, let me ask you a question:
What was stopping her from booking the plane ticket? Was it really not having enough money or was it the fear that she wouldn't make the money back after booking the flight?
When we experience fear or any emotion I first want to express that it is valid, it exists, and it is safe to feel it. It is actually important to acknowledge to release it from your body and there are ways to do that and move through it and live a life you love.
The second thing is when you look at your fear as something that is present - like a version of you that has stepped forward on a stage of all of the versions of you - that is working to protect you and is separate from you - you have an advantage.
Your fear is like a good friend who had a little too much to drink at a party and is loudly defending you when the situation was never out of your control. Sometimes you have to say to that friend (& fear) “I love you, thank you, but I've got this one. Maybe you should go lay down for a while and get some water.” It might sound crazy but your fearful self loves you and is acting out not based on your capability of dealing with the situation in your life with grace. In fear's eyes, you're losing control when you step into the unknown. Even if the unknown is you being your happiest most fulfilled self. It is often not a sign of you of actual danger. I mean listen to what your drunk fearful friend is saying because we all know that's when the true FEELINGs come out but that doesn't mean what they're saying has anything to do with what you're capable of accomplishing. While the feelings may be accurate - the feelings of fear are in fact separate from what you're capable of accomplishing.
If you're afraid you'll never make the money back once you spend it on travels you're actually manifesting a lack in your future. I believe you can trust your future self to be more abundant than ever. Just like you trust your past self to get you out of the toughest situation you have ever been in getting you here.
Lastly, if you're in a fearful state and feeling activated - this is not the time to solve your biggest problems. Your first priority when you're body is feeling activated or triggered is to step back and nurture that to feel more at peace. This can look like stepping into the bathroom at work and washing your hands, taking deep breaths, grounding your feet into your shoes, noticing what you are hearing in the present moment, putting your face in the sun, taking a walk, watching some Netflix (a show that is comforting perhaps). It is important to have a diverse tool kit to calm the body and honor your current state. You can set aside time later to solve the problems you wish to solve when your nervous system is less activated.
I can write on this for days but the truth is life is always going to contain anxiety and fear. We cannot control external factors that cross our path and how we will react. What we can do is bring our attention to what we can control. We CAN control how we will respond to our reaction. We can control how we respond to our emotions and internal world and understand it is separate from the external world. We can control our next action step and we can be proud of ourselves for getting where we are going.
Mantra/Affirmations:
So Hum (I am that in Sanskrit)
I am changing my money story and I am safe.
I trust my capacity
That's all for now.
So much love,
Liz